by Frank T. McAndrew, The Conversation

Recently, my wife and I went through one of the more excruciating
experiences of our lives – the euthanasia of our beloved dog,
Murphy. I remember making eye contact with Murphy moments before she took
her last breath – she flashed me a look that was an endearing
blend of confusion and the reassurance that everyone was ok
because we were both by her side. When people who have never had a dog see their dog-owning friends
mourn the loss of a pet, they probably think it’s all a bit of an
overreaction; after all, it’s “just a dog.” However, those who have loved a dog know the truth: Your own pet
is never “just a dog.” Many times, I’ve had friends guiltily confide to me that they
grieved more over the loss of a dog than over the loss of friends
or relatives. Research has confirmed that for most people,
the loss of a dog is, in almost every way, comparable to the loss
of a human loved one.

Unfortunately, there’s little in our cultural playbook – no grief
rituals, no obituary in the local newspaper, no religious service
– to help us get through the loss of a pet, which can make us
feel more than a bit embarrassed to show too much public grief over our
dead dogs. Perhaps if people realized just how strong and intense the bond
is between people and their dogs, such grief would become more
widely accepted. This would greatly help dog owners to integrate
the death into their lives and help them move forward. An interspecies bond like no other What is it about dogs, exactly, that make humans bond so closely
with them?

For starters, dogs have had to adapt to living with humans over
the past 10,000 years. And they’ve done it very well: They’re the
only animal to have evolved specifically to be our companions and
friends. Anthropologist Brian Hare has developed the
“Domestication Hypothesis” to explain how dogs morphed from their
grey wolf ancestors into the socially skilled animals that we now
interact with in very much the same way as we interact with other
people.

Perhaps one reason our relationships with dogs can be even more
satisfying than our human relationships is that dogs provide us
with such unconditional, uncritical positive feedback. (As the old saying goes, “May I become the kind
of person that my dog thinks I already am.”)

Mary Turner/Getty Images

This is no accident. They have been selectively bred through
generations to pay attention to people, and MRI scans show that dog brains respond to
praise from their owners just as strongly as they do to food (and
for some dogs, praise is an even more effective incentive than
food). Dogs recognize people and can learn to interpret human
emotional states from facial expression alone. Scientific studies
also indicate that dogs can understand human intentions, try
to help their owners and even avoid people who don’t cooperate with
their owners or treat them well.

Not surprisingly, humans respond positively to such unrequited
affection, assistance and loyalty. Just looking at dogs can make people smile. Dog owners score higher on measures of
well-being and they are happier, on average, than people who
own cats or no pets at all.

Like a member of the family

Our strong attachment to dogs was subtly revealed in a recent study of “misnaming.” Misnaming
happens when you call someone by the wrong name, like when
parents mistakenly calls one of their kids by a sibling’s name.
It turns out that the name of the family dog also gets confused
with human family members, indicating that the dog’s name is
being pulled from the same cognitive pool that contains other
members of the family. (Curiously, the same thing rarely happens
with cat names.)

It’s no wonder dog owners miss them so much when they’re gone.

Psychologist Julie Axelrod has pointed out
that the loss of a dog is so painful because owners aren’t just
losing the pet. It could mean the loss of a source of
unconditional love, a primary companion who provides security and
comfort, and maybe even a protégé that’s been mentored like a
child.

The loss of a dog can also seriously disrupt an owner’s daily
routine more profoundly than the loss of most friends and
relatives. For owners, their daily schedules – even their
vacation plans – can revolve around the needs of their pets.
Changes in lifestyle and routine are some
of the primary sources of stress.

According to a recent survey, many bereaved
pet owners will even mistakenly interpret ambiguous sights and
sounds as the movements, pants and whimpers of the deceased pet.
This is most likely to happen shortly after the death of the pet,
especially among owners who had very high levels of attachment to
their pets.

While the death of a dog is horrible, dog owners have become so
accustomed to the reassuring and nonjudgmental presence of their
canine companions that, more often than not, they’ll eventually
get a new one.

So yes, I miss my dog. But I’m sure that I’ll be putting myself
through this ordeal again in the years to come.

By Frank T. McAndrew, Cornelia H. Dudley
Professor of Psychology, Knox College.

This article was originally published on The Conversation.
Read the original article.